The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on, and that opinion comes with an entire set of stereotypes, fueled by racist ideology, a complicated past, and sometimes even pop culture.
It's becoming rare to see the reverse." This all started because I was referencing a conversation we'd had when I was pregnant with our son. You wouldn't want him to have coarse hair if you could help it. If you think I'm wrong, listen to your music and get back to me. My boyfriend had said lightheartedly, "I hope our son has my hair." My boyfriend has beautiful, soft curls, a genetic gift from both his races. It would be easier to manage if his hair was curly was all I'm saying." The rational part of me thought about what he was trying to say, but no matter how much I replayed it, it still didn't sound right to me. Everywhere from pop culture to the hood, men are either consciously or subconsciously telling black women they aren't "wanted." I have seen black man not even look twice at black women whom I see as beautiful, yet I've seen them break their necks for decent-looking -- dare I say unattractive -- women of other races. Granted, I think everyone is entitled to a personal preference regarding whom they like. But when, as a black man, you start saying things such as, "I don't date black women; I don't find them attractive," I think we have an issue. As I've gotten older, I've met many men who will openly say they don't want a baby with a black woman. White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven.These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered. Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout.